I support my family and friends when they need it. But when I leaned back into them for help, some were there and some were not. Test lean before you get to a crisis. Lean back. See whose still there.
Interdependence is a living fabric of support; it’s a garden in which you can grow family by nourishing connections. Asking for help, waters those connections.
I give myself permission to be part of this Earthly commons, by asking. It is the basis of simian citizenship (and human community.) It begins as a transaction that in turn creates a bond. I owe you, so when you need to, you ask me. I WANT to help. The big difference between a moneyed transaction, where I pay you, is that I WANT to help you; its not just duty, but duty works, too.
I am connected to you. We have set a bond – a relationship. When you need help, I predisposed to help you. I will help you quickly when I am asked to help because I have been there, asking.
Since it is not easy to ask for help, (maybe it shouldn’t ever be easy to ask…) it gives me the opportunity to clarify what I need.
My asking may even help others by being an example of how to ask with grace and the lack of any shame. It gives others permission to be human – to be connected. Being solidly in this community means that I am more likely to find help because the current is flowing in the network; it is sustainable power in a woven blanket of living light – even if I am too dark, on occasion, to see it.
Asking is just better.
The blood is circulating. Blood and money needs to circulate to be healthy; its like inhaling and exhaling. Ask. Give. Celebrate your time here with others. Asking and receiving is a dance of love in motion; it is the beginning step in an improvisational tango which is the best of life.